Thursday, October 24, 2013

windwalker gets a long-overdue check up......

windwalker, when she arrived...
Dearest friends and lovers of dear windwalker...
"...I hear a drum in my soul's ear coming from the depths of the stars..."  - Rumi
I have to admit i'm elated....
...and i believe windwalker is too...

in September, our ayllu sacred drum, windwalker travelled down from Kamloops  and was delivered to be with me/us... (thank you Laurie!)

holy wow - is this ever cool!

There are really no accidents......... the way it all fell into place it was meant to be...

I can't tell you how wonderful it has been to have her here in our home - for the first time ever since she was birthed over 6 years ago!

Where we lived previously didn't allow room for her... though our new home now does and she is presently happily residing in our healing room, gracing us with her sacred presence... and what a time we've had....

Moose hide side @ 35.25 diameter
It has been a good opportunity for me to really spend some good quality, sacred time with her to connect and pray together...

and, what i have also realized is that this time has also allowed me to really get a good look at her up close...

I live about 4-5 hours from Kamloops/Sorrento and when i have been up there for sacred circles 2-3 times a year where windwalker is always a part... i have never had the opportunity to really survey how she is doing because our time is always limited with being so busy in session and then... right at the moment when the event is over, windwalker is promptly loaded back onto a vehicle to be in care with someone until the next event...

The last while (about 2 years or so) there has been quite a bit of discussion about what to do with windwalker's heft - particularly her weight and size..... she's a grand drum!

A drum of this size logistically really doesn't lend itself to be moved around a lot very well... ultimately it would have been nice to have one sacred space to house her... however, we haven't had that option and so, she has been moved to where we create and hold our ceremonies, trainings and community events... Doing this moving has not been easy nor longer possible for some...

Last April (2013), we gathered together in circle to discuss what to do about this and after much discussion, a few options were considered... one, was giving her to another community... or to me... though during this time, we did not have the room for her... when this was being suggested, i couldn't fathom windwalker being 'given' to one person... it also deeply saddened me to hear this...

Finally, some good time to check in + assess

I expressed that the original intent and dreaming this sacred drum into being was meant to be as a Community/Ayllu mother drum... to be of service to the ayllu...

During the meeting Laurie D., agreed to be windwalker's caretaker until perhaps others would wish to take on sharing this task. (thank you Laurie!)...

So, it was agreed a call would be made to the general ayllu... and since that (email) notice has gone out, no one has replied at all... except from a couple of folk who wish to know what happens to her - to be kept in the loop....

One person emailed me and shared with me that they found the issue of windwalker being too heavy, not an issue at all - that in the past or even now, a spiritual community would simply not see it this way - that if a drum (or anything) needed to be moved, it was to be moved by as many people needed and they would do it... She also asked, why is it that when the 1,000 days of drumming project ended, that it was suggested that windwalker was to 'end'?  It didn't make any sense to her...

It didn't make any sense to me either....

Making one into two...

Another group decision that came out of the meeting was to attempt to cut her into two frames horizontally and create two drums - which would "lighten her up"...And if that worked, we would then re-skin windwalker  - and the other frame would be shipped to the New York ayllu... where they would birth their own community mother drum... thus widening the healing work we are all a part of...

A glimpse into the heart of the mother
This was an interesting thought as it possibly aligned with the original intent back 6 years ago...?

When we were guided to the blown-down sitka spruce on Read Island, two rounds were sawn off the tree stump - it was a major undertaking taking most of the day....

The smaller round (3 foot diameter) came to Kamloops - which we birthed as windwalker and the other round (which was about 4 feet in diameter) was left on the beach to be picked up later at a trip back to Read... However, the 4-foot round went missing and was never found...

hmmmn.... so... it wasn't meant to be?
I'm of the bent that stuff happens for a reason where spirit and life-purpose have already been written.....
I believe that it's no accident we have the dear sacred drum we have - in the physical form that she was birthed and meant to be.........Perhaps windwalker wrote her own life-purpose???  We humbly heard 'her' call,  responded and showed up.......

windwalker reflects back to us as ayllu
It's interesting to note that when i attempted to plan and organize a time (recently) to gather those of us to do the actual task of cutting and separating her into two... it didn't work for anyone to be there and so i pushed that date ahead to November when i was to be next up for the white drum mesa gathering....
Though... i have to admit... every time i thought of this actually happening - literally cutting windwalker into two just made me cringe over and over..... and i finally had to listen to that........ the spirits were speaking to me.....
Then something happened..

Spirit and guidance revealed to me a 'reflection' windwalker was showing in the 'cutting into two".... The very act by us (as ayllu) choosing to cut her in half... was perhaps a confirmation that our ayllu is and has been "cut" and "split" for many years.... Even before windwalker was birthed she showed us this when the frame began to rapidly split and crack while Rick was coring her...

Are we listening?...

I ask why would we wish to continue dreaming this dream? - by symbolically and physically intending this?........ i can't negate that i find this interesting and a powerful message/reflection... and have to admit seeing and realizing this, rattled me deep, to say the least...
I'm not sure i, or anyone else for that matter, would like to continue to dream this into being....???
I don't know about you.... that i prefer to mindfully dream into being our community ayllu as 'wholeness'... and healing as 'one'....

Windwalker is revealing to me (and others) that she chooses healing.... to build community - not sever it....

Anyway... all of the above can and has been debated over and over and over again ...and i have found it all, very interesting just how each and everyone who have been touched by this grand sacred drum - have their own perspective, relationship and journey with her, and i say it again - each one's relationship is valid... and i acknowledge and honour each with respect...

I also know that not everyone carries sacred drum medicine as i do... i have learned of late that perhaps i was possibly assuming this? - though not intentionally... I have to admit that i came to a place of being 'stuck' with the original dreaming of windwalker - that she was/is as 'ayllu community drum'... and wouldn't let go of that.... it's been clear that some ayllu members have told me that they are 'done' with care-taking windwalker - and, it's a surprising and sad fact that no one wishes to carry on... i honour and respect any one's decision of what's right for them... i always have...

I also know that our ayllu is shifting and changing - everything shifts and changes... perhaps this is a message of not being attached to 'form'........ again, another sacred teaching from windwalker...

So now... i can 'see' and 'feel' a new dreaming coming into being - i may not exactly know what that is at the moment... though i am open to a new beginning... windwalker has been and is definitely moving into a new pacha and i feel i am too - yet again!  I know we all are... I can't negate nor ignore a dreaming of a deeper 'sacred partnership - of all' coming into being....... others feel this as well... we are all evolving and that includes windwalker too...

So... these past few weeks i have taken the opportunity to really assess where windwalker is at both physically and spiritually....

windwalker is 2.8-inches or more thick!
I wish to note some significant facts - some of which i suspected and knew over 5 years ago where, now only confirm...


ASSESSMENT - windwalker's much-needed check up...

- As we know, windwalker is one big drum - she was birthed from a very large wind-blown-down Sitka Spruce tree that was found on Read Island,  the west coast of BC... (her herstory is documented here on this blog FYI)...

- When Rick cored her 6 years ago - he figured she is about 135 years old by her ring count... Wow!  I never really knew this.... we knew she is one wise grandmother!...

- She is about 17 inches in height, 35.25 inches in diameter on her Moose skin side and 31 inches diameter on her Buffalo skin side...

- What i really didn't realize until now is that she, her frame-rim is over 2.8-inches thick!!! (see photo)  This is significant because it also explains one reason why she is so heavy in weight... that is solid wood!...

- When windwalker first arrived, i first checked in spiritually and connected with her heart-to-heart... i was quite astonished as to how 'wounded' she is feeling and showing... i cried tears of compassion for her... i felt this most on her two hides... physically there are a number of rips and tears with also numerous deep scratches and gouges into her buffalo hide side (see photos below)...

What was nice to see is her Sitka wood body is in excellent shape without hardly a bump or scratch - here, she is strong,  and holds much beauty and grace.... her body holds much spirit, medicine and symbology within her stunning grain... there is a white amaru dragon... a big chocachinchay cat... tidal waves, spirals and soundings... i can hear ocean dolphins swimming... the cry of the whale and owl and more.....

There are over 10 verticals broken + re-tied
- Though, what i found most significant was that windwalker's hides are indeed completely flat and wrinkled... there is no resonance at all... the only sound you hear is a flat thump...
When i went around around and checked her lacings, i was astounded to find just how many of the rawhide verticals have broken over the years - over 10+ have snapped and some ripped right out from the hide edge... and they were all lovingly re-tied back together with much mindfulness and care.... however, this does not return or retain any tightness or resonance of the hides....
- And so,  this is most significant, one of which i've been attempting to share with people for a number of years is that.... when both hides are completely flat and have been since the first lacings broke that first year.... IS the main reason why she no longer sings... This is truly a technical issue because there is no longer ANY tension or resonance because of flat hides!  She really needed to be re-skinned way back then.

It is no one's fault this was never done - it just didn't get done...
Sooo.... this is where she is at in this moment of time.... 
I feel very strongly that she still needs to be simply lightened up, re-skinned and repaired where, she will sing once again as she did back when we birthed her.... note... back when we birthed her and dedicated her, her first soundings were so resonant, you could feel the heart of the mother move the core of your being from within your own heart and back to hers - i will never forget that... do you remember?....

It was unfortunate that her lacings broke within the first year... for she has never sung the same since... there are many of us who know this from playing her.  When one plays any kind of drum - the energy of the engagement must be equal... where, as i play the drum, the drum plays me back.... yes, there is some sound coming from her - however, this is only because the hides are dried and molded to the frame and if it's warm enough, they may tighten slightly - though only so far... there is still no tension... We made some mistakes when we birthed her - one being we should have made twice the thickness of lacing...

tears and rips on the hides
I am confident that a lot of her girth-weight can be brought down considerably by removing about a third of her rim thickness -  which will lighten her up... and even taking down some of her height will help with this as well...

I am receiving a very clear message directly from her and the lineage of sacred drummers that she is NOT to be cut into two - that this is not her life-path nor is it even feasible from a physical and technical perspective...

Reason being........
Her height is only 17 inches and...
many broken lacings re-tied...
...If she were to be cut into two, this would only allow for each frame to be about 8.5 inches high if we're lucky...  This is not enough height  to act as a sustainable strong frame at such a diameter... and much too short to maintain the stress of stretching hides and playing or moving, etc....

After a long-overdue good discussion with Rick, who knows her the best physically, (because he cored her), it is not recommended we even try cutting her, as it is more than possible that she would crack and break and, in the end, we would not have a sacred drum any more... we would destroy her...


Windwalker's next pacha - next plans ....

Since the email notice that went out regarding windwalker's next pacha... there has been NO response - no one new has expressed an interest in care-taking her... those who have in the past no longer wish to...

Since windwalker has been in residence here with me... windwalker herself, the spirits, and the lineage of the sacred drummers are advising that she continue to stay here with me in Vancouver for the time being....

Soooooooooooo....

The plan is..... soon, her hides will be removed (i'm thinking on Samhain Oct 31st) and then, she will be lightened up by removing about a third of her inner rim thickness and some of her height taken down.

This is a big physical job... i am committed to doing this here in Vancouver and there are also a few others who are willing to do this work with me... we are committed to doing it.... i welcome anyone to come join us...

I and we know deep in our hearts that, for the present moment that this is windwalker's next pacha - and she is NOT to be split - as this only confirms what has been mentioned above...

We know deep within our being and intend - that WE are ONE... and WHOLE... windwalker is here to guide us to continue to dream this into being...

Our dear windwalker has been very clear for many months now - that she chooses to continue in her whole state...  and i can't tell you how excited and passionate i am to be a part of her journey with her, for her to reveal her next pacha and what that will be - i am deeply listening and open to be her care-taker in this present moment...

I welcome all who wish to be a part... and i always welcome your feedback and comments below...

Lovingly reported, with many bright blessings...
love and light... weaver x (((o)))

PS... windwalker's continued journey will be documented here and updates will be posted... more photos below...

The lacings are completely loose...
Loose lacings and more re-ties...


a white Amaru dragon keeps watch in the south...
The Buffalo hide side has taken on deep scratches...

Thursday, August 22, 2013

What does it mean to be a care-taker of our ayllu community sacred drum, windwalker?

We, as ayllu blessed windwalker with our love and she blessed us...
note... please know the below are suggestions... i don't ever claim to 'know' everything when it comes to working with sacred drums and what is involved with care-taking a sacred drum let alone one grand community ayllu sacred drum like windwalker... i share from my own experience from walking the path of the sacred drum.... and i always welcome all who wish to share and offer their learnings with us... please do.... :o)

...know this is a path like any path... i invite you to engage on a level that is mindful... and to walk from heart.... 

...if you are sooo called - we welcome you... and we hear your voice!  
- with much munay... weaver x (((o)))


Some suggestions on what it means to become a care-taker of windwalker, our ayllu community sacred drum... 

- a desire to be of service to our beautiful ayllu plus take care of windwalker... to mindfully connect with her and our blessed earth mother from a spiritual perspective... including the physical care.

- to offer a safe, sacred space within your home/place to take care of and honour her – place her somewhere special and out of the way of everyday life... out of direct sunlight, heaters or any extreme temperatures – away from pets who could damage her... dogs particularly are very fond of rawhide and will chew on the hides or wood.  

Cats love to exercise their claws on wood and are often drawn to the medicine of the sacred drum and will want to hang out holding space... when not in use or in transporting, keep the top hide covered with her special honouring cloth to avoid scratching and also to allow the drum to rest – big drums are resonators and also very open ‘containers’ open to energy and/or will take on energy, thus ‘working’ and available continually when uncovered.  

Children are very drawn to drums and will naturally want to enthusiastically ‘beat’ a drum without knowing  – they also offer wonderful light energy to the drum too – so, please supervise children to ‘play’ the drum – teach them the difference of playing vs beating her... our ‘mother’ has been beaten enough...  also, never ‘use’ a sacred drum as a coffee table or a place to lay things on because it’s convenient... please offer respect...

- offerings of regular or daily feedings... connection and engaging with windwalker honours her and our blessed earth mother... as we acknowledge and ‘feed’ our mesas with love, we feed ourselves with love... by feeding and honouring windwalker we are mindfully feeding and honouring our ayllu/community..... doing this every day is good... though if your schedule doesn’t allow every day – find what fits within your schedule on a consistent basis – every other day – 3 times a week, etc... find what fits for you – it’s consistency that is important – it is sacred practice... 

- this can be done by connecting with her in prayer... offering of flowers, seeds, draping with dry cedar boughs dry and smoke smudge... our songs... prayers... sounding of bells, chimes and simply giving her a sweet hug... be mindful of her as spirit and as sacred voice of our blessed earth mother... play her, lay your hands on her, feel her energy, tap her gently, enjoy her... call her by her sacred name... 

- sit and be still with her, sit and lean your back on her and she will support you in whatever way you need to be supported... know that what you are ‘feeling’ and ‘thinking’ when you play her is energetically going out into the world and returning to you ten-fold... listen deeply... when we engage with spirit – spirit will engage with us – the spirit are patiently waiting for us to engage with them first... windwalker and our blessed earth mother have much to teach us if we will only listen.... when we honour her, we honour ourselves as ayllu.... as one...

- if you receive 'messages' from her or through her... please be mindful of where those messages come from... are they from the heart?.... from the light?...  please check in deeply within your being that they are not your own 'projections'.... do these messages feel good... do they support you...? ...do they benefit all?... ...if not, know that messages that come from true divine light, that are aligned with infinite source are never controlling, manipulative, bossy or judgemental in any way....... if you feel this - do not engage with this energy - as they are not of the light or source....  release them back from where they came....... as they are not helpful nor useful.....

- windwalker is a community drum and available to our community - our ayllu – this is her journey and her commitment to us... we ask what our commitment is to her?  ...she can’t get to events and ceremonies on her own... being care-taker is choosing to be responsible and making a commitment to being available to the call of the ayllu community and windwalker... ie:  making arrangements for windwalker to be transported to and from the event or ceremony – if you can’t do it then to make sure someone can be available and to also arrange help/transportation if needed.

- given freely to all of you my beautiful ayllu...  
with love and light from weaver x (((o)))

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

windwalker, our ayllu community sacred drum - our heart of hearts....

It has certainly been an interesting journey thus far - these past 6 years.........

- windwalker as sacred healing drum for anyone open to engage spiritually....

what does that mean for you - for us....?

a big learning that has been revealed to me is that windwalker teaches and engages each one of us in her own unique, beauty way... i feel this is significant and powerful.... i honour this!!!... 

- i welcome ALL to honour this ... 

i guess that's why i started this blog... because i invited those of you within our ayllu to perhaps share the healings and the teachings that you have experienced with windwalker over this past 6 years... a few did engage in the beginning writings here.... i know i have contributed much here as i personally found documenting windwalker's journey important and a significant herstory for our beautiful ayllu.... this gives me much joy which also honours our grand drum...

i still welcome you to share your journey and sacred relationship with windwalker here if you wish - anytime... as i know others including myself would love to hear... as your personal journey with her helps all of us... and those of us who listen....

- windwalker as 'ayllu-community' sacred drum.... our heart-beat as 'one'

with being a part of windwalker's journey and witness ....what i have found the most deep is when we gather 'as ayllu' together 'as one' with windwalker as an equal member along with us within mindful sacred circle...this is when the biggest medicine and healing has come through spirit....... 

- and holy wow... is the healing up even to this day!

it is through these sharings/healings expressed through the heart during ayllu sacred circle of all present that we can all heal together 'as one'.... 

- in these sacred moments there really is no 'leader' or 'facilitator'... 

during these times as we offer mindful intent... we merge.. as one 'being' - fulfillment of 'ayllu' perhaps?... isn't this what we all yearn for? ...and, what we are perhaps evolving to?... .... windwalker has shared this with us many times - right from the beginning even before she became a physical drum.... when she was a cored-out piece of sitka-spruce tree... there are many sharings here on this blog....

and those of us who were present together during that wonderful weekend when we skinned and birthed windwalker... i was guided throughout that gathering to simply get out of the way, to allow spirit to completely direct that special weekend and what an amazing time we had....! ...we all felt much and learned much and witnessed the possibility of what can happen when we work together as ayllu-community... as one body...one mind...one spirit.... i know many of us shall never forget that experience... i know i have not....

- many of us know this and honour this connection...

that is why i feel strongly deep within my soul that windwalker is an 'ayllu-community' drum - this is her path and why she birthed herself into being - we as ayllu responded to her call... and if no others step up to continue this, her 'ayllu' journey - well... i guess we'll have to listen to what's next - with what she may have to say regarding that....... i know i am open to what is possible... to continue dreaming along with her...


"...listen, listen, listen to my heart's song...
...listen, listen, listen to my heart's song...
...i will never forget you... i will never forsake you...
...i will never forget you... i will never forsake you..."

windwalker was originally dreamed into being as an ayllu-community 'sacred' drum... that is what we 'heard' through spirit, responded to, and envisioned 'together' 6 years ago....

it is my dear hope (and the hope of others) that we can continue to say yes to what we all said a great big 'yes' to in the beginning.. that we honour the medicine/spirit of this vision...  
back then we said yes... stating together we were ready as ayllu, as community to take on the responsibility to care-take and carry this sacred drum into the future dreaming of our ayllu...  

i know personally when i come to be a part of the white drum mesa teachings that are sourcing through those of us who gather together twice a year... the deep healings and honourings i have experienced over and over including sourcing the white drum rites, etc., and i know others have during our ceremonies together, that there have been truly significant and moving healing(s) - for us individually tho most important for ALL of us - as ayllu....

- and this deep healing continues...

perhaps windwalker is possibly reflecting and teaching us a new way to 'be' within 'being' as true ayllu - as one... as we evolve together in this brand new grand age since we moved through the portal of 2012....?

- 1,000 days + 8,000 sacred drums....

it was a grand pacha moment - those of us who stepped up and chose to mindfully 'sound' windwalker every day for 1,000 days in a row which was completed at summer solstice 2012... but does that mean that because that ceremonial pacha is done that windwalker is done.... ? ...some have thought so and some have not... this has been a deep question those of have been asking for awhile now... again... we all have our own unique relationship with windwalker and all are honoured.... it's also been very colourful - the refections that have emerged and shined out...

- sooo... are we done? ... some of us don't think so... 

windwalker reminds us... "are we all on a path of beauty....?"

a path never ends - like circle with no beginning and no end.....

the Otomi elders of Mexico who shared their ancient prophecy.... that when the sounding of 8,000 sacred drums are sounded all together at one time that an intense healing of our blessed earth mother will 'commence'...

- apparently, this ancient prophecy has been fulfilled...

however.... i feel that one word in this prophecy, 'commence' is quite significant and mega-important.... think about the meaning of the word 'commence' for a moment.... don't you think that perhaps.... and what comes is that classic song line...

- we've only just begun...... ?

i don't mean this in jest - it's a-given that there is sooo much more work to be done for the healing of this, our dear planet, pachamama and all of us who are her care-takers.... how can we be done?... i know we've really only begun....

- the north teachings of the wise ones.....

over 12 years ago.... when i sat in front of my north solo fire in the pouring rain - mindfully attempting to make that decision i was asked to take... or better said, to say 'yes'.... to become and commit to be a steward of pachamama........ i admit that i did hesitate for a moment... to place my stone in the middle of the sputtering flames was the final decision - the commitment - a life-path......... i remember asking my self numerous times if i was up to the task... can i commit?.... can i even do this?... WILL i do this?...

i did choose to do it - many of us have... something from deep within my heart told me that i HAD to do it.... i went for it - knowing there was some kind of destiny thing going on... and believe me there have been times when i have wondered why or wtf.... though... when i sit within sacred circle with others who have also said 'yes' is when i truly know why..... and it's sooo good to know i'm not alone... even tho sometimes i forget that......

we are all leaders.... leading each other - let us honour that and each time we come to sit together within sacred circle.... to mindfully be open to a whole new way of be-ing together... allowing each equal space to become as ayllu-leading-ayllu...

not sure if i've got the exact words here... though i know i 'feel' this much as we continue to evolve together....

windwalker showed up and is committed... she's here in her physical form to help us re-member all that... she has this very cool gift of reminding us to express our joy in the ever present moment... with her we can re-member that we can co-create together as 'one'....

each of us are like single drops of water falling into the ocean of unending love - emanating our concentric circle-pulses which eventually connect us as one pulse of 'one' flowing together......... and it's a beautiful ride downstream if we so choose it...... :o)

frankly, i'm quite tired of 'trying' to swim upstream...... aren't you?

i always welcome your feedback, comments and engagement here...

bright blessings always...
in mucho munay...
weaver x (((o)))