dearest dear ayllu...
well... equinox has passed and i think spring is finally here... certainly, with regards to the calendar, though, sometimes i wonder, with the same-old cold and damp, incessent rainy weather that never ends - will we ever see father sun again?... i really miss his healing warmth and positive light...
sometimes, i feel like i'm turning into a mole...
though, last week, inti-ti-ti finally did peek out for a wee-bit... and my partner and i decided we better get out "right now" for a much-needed walk - take advantage of a short-windowed opportunity... we better go now or we'll miss out! so, off we headed, into our own lovely-wooded "garden grove drive" neighbourhood...
it felt so wonderful to feel the sun's warmth on our faces and to breathe in the gentle wind's fresh air, to hear children laughing and playing at the park and witness the busy birds and squirrels as they celebrated new life - it was sure great to be outside for a change...
as we were heading back nearing our humble abode... something caught my eye up in a tree... i realized it was a flicker rebounding off a cedar bough flying away, and then something fell on top of my head... it was a small piece of a pine branch that was now lying on the sidewalk in front of me... i picked it up while thinking to myself...
"hmmmn... what's this?"
... here we go again.. another "bonk" maybe?...
"hmmmn... ?"
the flicker is a a beautiful woodpecker native to this area where we live... and is one of my close spirit-guides of the winged-ones that often shows up to tell me something or usually reminds me of the important stuff... she often calls at me... when maybe, i may of fallen sleep from my busyness or get lazy about stuff... the flicker, being a woodpecker, is the drummer... and flicker also represents for me, the elder spirits - the wise old grandmother ancestors who are usually known to share their stuff by knocking on my weary head at about 3 or 4am in the wee hours when i'm trying to sleep.....
and so, dear flicker got me to thinking about drums and drumming this day... or what is it that i could have forgotten of late???
she helped me remember... ponder and wonder about how our dear sacred drum - the frame of, windwalker, might be doing... i truly wished i lived closer to where she is presently residing and being care-taken - up in kamloops, in our sacred ayllu valley... it is such a distance away... i wish i could visit her more often...
it's been one long winter and i wonder how she has faired during her long dark winter sleep... i haven't seen her for quite sometime - since late last summer when she shared teaching about the sacred sound of dolphins...... i have prayed that she has been drying more slowly during this past while...
as last fall, we all became a tad concerned about how quickly tiny, small cracks were starting to form and show up all around the edges of her frame... we know that the journey of her being brought abruptly from her westcoast rainforest home to the hot dry heat of kamloops would have certainly been a shock for sure... and rick took immediate precautions of that by keeping her constantly wet and moist to hopefully slow down the drying... but despite all this effort, she continued to quickly crack... which then meant rick had to completely coat her in oil to really slow down the process, to again hopefully avoid a complete cracking-through...
but also... a couple of us couldn't help but notice that those tiny cracks and fissures were, maybe, a reflection of the "cracks" and breaks that have crept and emerged within our ayllu community over the past few years...
i have to be honest and say... that i can't fathom, or really understand why the cracks and splits have shown up amongst us... it baffles me... and saddens me... it saddens many of us... why is it, that even through all the healing and the amount of deep inner work we have gone through together as a community including the shiftings for ourselves individually, that we still sometimes revert to the old-way paradigms of...
fear...
gossip...
separation...
competition...
jealousy...
hurt and anger and most of all...
assumption...?
i know that we are all just human... but sometimes that old saying just feels like an excuse to me...
however, i can't help but be reminded by my guides, our teachers, our blessed ancestors - of all the medicine teachings we've received - from the dear Q'ero who continue to freely pass on sacred knowledge on to us, through the blood lineage... those ceke-magnet lines that pulse out through our mesas to mighty apu-mountain spirits that connect us to a global ayllu web and each other... the spirit-callings, the nudgings that we bravely acknowledged and committed to when we ceremonially received ancient rites of passage... the healings that we all profoundly experienced and received in circle "together"... all the teachings that we yearned for and believe have "changed" us.... i really wonder... have we really changed at all?... do we really walk our "talk" like we think we do?
haven't we also learned new ways of...
munay...
trust...
unity... community...
cooperation...
sharing...
right loving...
right action...
to be and live in ayni...?
what is "ayni" anyway?... do we really know?...
...haven't we've also learned that our mesas reflect back to us, in every present moment, if we choose to just "see"... that our beloved kuyas, those wise stone people, the holders of such ancient earth knowledge lovingly mirror back to us, our "healed-state" - the "beauty" of who we truly are...? will we ever, really get that?
i know i've had snippets and moments of that beauty... my own beauty... (wow)...
as i write this.. i re-collect a time being on a solo, silent retreat, just me and a drum - i had just been through my west-work... staying at a cabin deep in old-growth woods with waist-high ferns on keats island with no electricity or hot running water... waking up one morning... rolling over and the first thing i saw when i opened my crusty, bleary eyes.... was my wide-open, half-full mesa lying on the floor next to me... where, in an instant... an immense beauty-light shone through to me radiating and pulsing deep in my heart in such a way that i'll never ever be able to truly describe... feelings of a deep love and wild awe that i'll never forget... it wasn't until weeks later, when i shared that experience with my teacher lisa, that she revealed to me with a patient love...
"but weaver, don't you realize that, that bright light and love beaming in your mesa is really you!?"
all i could say was... "wow... really?"...
will we ever... "get it?"....
the prophecies and medicine teachings that have been lovingly passed to us, talk about and almost promise a new way of being... that we are right now, in the midst of a grand "pachacuti"... a "turning over of time"... that a paradigm shift of the old ways is finally dissolving... where the "individual" concept of an ego mind-set is flipping over... "the i" and the "small me" can no longer exist... it's all just not working anymore... is it?...
and what a certain elder tree taught dear valerie, that she lovingly shares...
"that it's not about "ME and my mesa" anymore"... that we have the "choice" of dreaming our becoming into being... together as "one"... as community... as ayllu... in ayni... and the time is now...
and... that "choice" is the gift that we've all been yearning for... such a gift... that has been freely given to us...
and so... what we will give back?...
a certain blessed sacred wise drum... who is in her own becoming... dear windwalker - is another gift that's been offered us and has sooo much to teach us... may we hear her voice... and know that she is calling us... welcoming us... to walk together to dream our beingness into being... whatver we as an ayllu choose it to be...it's really up to us... and she is patiently waiting for us...
thank you dear grandmothers... thank you dear windwalker...
hi-yi-yah! ..."we hear your voice!"...
with much love and light... to all of you, my beautiful ayllu... i love you...!
weaver (((o)))
ps... and i welcome your input and your dreamings...........
